You're Worth Celebrating

Ten months ago my therapist asked me to come up with a metaphor that describes my life. My answer: I felt like I was on a beach, but it was constantly raining. Everyone loves being on a beach...but it’s hard to enjoy it if it’s raining the whole time.

So, instead of celebrating a year of marriage this past weekend, I celebrated a year of resilience. A year of confusion, success, self-growth, and sadness. A year of weird transitions and new perspectives. A year of loneliness and being the happiest I’ve ever been. A year of feeling so shaken but being extremely grounded. A celebration of fun with friends and a lot of people asking me, “so, how’s work going?” (I sell diamonds to happy people, so no, you can’t avoid this awkward conversation).

I celebrated a year of not having the right words to explain how I’m doing, but being extremely honest with myself and others as I tried to find them. A year of recognizing all the amazing people in my life that support me day in and day out, gaining new friends and connecting with old. A year of not recognizing myself, but being content. A year of reconnecting with who I am and who I plan to be on my own.

This past weekend I celebrated me.

You never think about weird, traumatic things happening to you...until they f*cking do. But, in a matter of seconds, your life can quickly turn to mass chaos. Chaos that leaves you to deal with the mess that someone else’s choices made. I never thought that Thursday, January 4, 2018 would become the day that saved me instead of ruining me. I quickly made a choice to focus on the things that could be controlled, and to free myself from the things that could not.

This weekend my family and I took a trip to take a step away from an extremely exhausting year. It was important to us to do that as a unit. Life is messy and constantly on the go. Sometimes you just need time to breathe and let things go. I was ready — and I needed that confirmation. I needed confirmation that I’m on the path of facing the rain on the beach and the waves that have been knocking me down — headed through the storm and not around it. California may be smoky right now, but I’ll tell you that their beaches? Their beaches are clear as ever...I know because I was on the beach...and finally. Finally, it wasn’t raining.

Why Dearly Divorced? Read more.