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Another Year, Another Round

2019. New Year, New Beginning! Kidding. Of course I’m kidding. 2019. Another Year, Another Round...of legal obligations.

As I was brainstorming ways that I could make one of my first blog posts inspirational and motivational, I kept coming to a dead end. It’s not that I didn’t have anything to say, but I felt like ringing in the new year with a post about how my life has completely changed for the better seemed a bit cliché, so I really couldn’t bring myself to start. Turns out, all I needed is a good ole legal document hitting my hand as soon as I walked in the door on the eve of my six day staycation. 

It’s like clock work, really. Every time I’ve gone out of town or had some time off work to relax, BAM. Letter from a lawyer. It’s never from my lawyer, either. After a year of countless emails, stressful meetings, and exhausting battles, it should be over, right? Wrong! Leave it to the ex(‘s mom) to start another battle.

I recently purchased a new vehicle (GiGi), not because I wanted to, but because my divorce said I had to. I was perfectly content with the car that I won in the settlement, but it was part of the agreement to get the cars refinanced. PSA: YOU CANNOT REFINANCE A LEASED VEHICLE. ALSO NEVER GET MARRIED. Anyway, the solution I was given was to trade it in and buy a new one. So, I did.

Buying GiGi was supposed to be the last thing. The last thing so I was done with all of it. I was so ready and had come so far mentally and emotionally. I was ready to start with a clean slate, and it was just in time for the new year. I had, eh, five and a half days of pure divorced bliss, and I loved every minute of it!

And now it’s back to reality: Stuffed in between the cushions of my parents’ couch, the sinking feeling of the beginning of my divorce (that was already over) on my mind, two sleeping Aussies, anger flowing through my whole body...confusion, disbelief, dejavu. This is where I was at the start of 2018. It’s baffling because I know that I’ve come so far since then, but right now it feels like I really haven’t moved. (More on why I’m on my parents’ couch later...but spoiler alert: I recently had a nice little flood at my house and I can’t stay there until it’s renovated...And yes, I had just finished putting the final touches of my decor in my main rooms. So, they’re going to tear it all down and I’ll go do it again!)

I know this sounds super pity-party like. That’s not my intention. I’m really just trying to shed light on how crazy life is sometimes. You can be the world’s most organized person or a planner who’s out of this world - but at the end of the day it just doesn’t matter. Life will take its course whether you’re on the same road or not. You can spend your life trying to overcorrect to a different path, or you can buckle in and try to enjoy the ride. That’s why this is no pity-party. I’m buckled in - tight. Another set back is another journey to add to my map (I’m just taking the scenic route).

So, even though I’ve started this year the same way I started the last, I’m different. Other things around me feel the same, but I know that I’ve arrived to this destination as a different person. Stronger. Smarter. Single-er. Business Owner. I’m not in the best of spirits, but I don’t have to be. I’ll give myself an inner pity-party for about 10 minutes (and a full hour with my therapist), and buckle back in. I’m excited for 2019. I know that there are good things headed my way. Fingers crossed for a legal free 2020, though.